Jan 28, 2010

Knicker Knotter or not?

Do you attach your ego to the things you stitch for others? When you give stitched gifts, do you attach strings to them?
When I stitch a gift for someone, the fun for me is in the creation. Once I give it to the person, I figure that since it now belongs to them, they can do what they want with it. This includes using it as flooring in the birdcage, giving it to the local thrift store, or selling it in their next garage sale.
And yes, I'd rather that they not do those things, but I'm not going to lose any sleep over it if they do. It's theirs. I gave it to them. It's no longer mine.
If I have given them something to hang on the wall and I don't later see it displayed in their home, I don't stress over it. I certainly wouldn't ask them why it wasn't hanging on a wall!
Apparently, some folks don't have this attitude with their stitchy gifts. They become all offended if someone doesn't appreciate the gift to the fullest extent. "Fullest extent" is defined peculiar to the person saying it. These folks have attached their egos to their stitching and it can be very painful for them. It can be very annoying to the gift's recipient.
Strings are another thing, "I'll give this to Aunt Frances, but only if she hangs it in the guest bedroom instead of that hideous painting she has in there now!" Never mind that Aunt Frances likes the painting hanging in her guest room and really doesn't care for the item stitched for her. This is decorating other folks' homes for them; most folks don't care for this - I know I don't.
While people usually appreciate the thought of the gift, it may not tickle their fancy even if you try real hard to stitch something you think they'd like. They can't really return it like they can a too-small sweater. And expecting them to display it prominently in their home or use it or wear it if they don't like it is kind of like holding someone hostage to me. It's that ego thing again.
It's a gift. Let it go! Give it freely! Don't attach your ego to it! And you'll add years to your life and save yourself untold aggravation. At least that's the way I see it.


Mary said...

I don't know. I quit stitching for others last year as it was getting TOO MUCH!!!...LOL. I was getting hints of what "others" would like me to do for them. However, that being said, if I stitch something for someone, even though it IS a gift, I'd like to least be appreciated for the time and thought I took to stitch it! If I ever find something in a birdcage...well that'd be the last person I'd stitch ANYTHING for. That's just way uncool.

Are you ready for the cold that's coming? Bet you're glad you got all that wood available now!


Jennifer said...

I try really hard to only stitch for people that I know would appreciate it and I try to pick something I think they would like. For me, I hate making people feel uncomfortable, like "What the heck am I going to do with THAT?" But most of the pieces I've given have been well recived and are well loved.

Rachel S said...

I only stitch for those who will appreciate it, but I don't need to see it. I don't care where they put it. But it does kill me to see lovely stitched pieces sold at yard sales for next to nothing.

Bette said...

This is why I no longer stitch for others unless it's a personal request. I have too much invested in the pieces to just let them go.I admire you for having these feelings for your work.